Self Massage is not possible.
Two must play that game my friend.
Geoffrey Hamilton
November 12, 2005
When I lightly massaged my wife's eyebrows it made her swoon. When she tried to do so
with her own fingers she said it didn't feel all that good and asked me why. I answered
that massage is a particular game. Here's how. It has a goal - a profound sense of relaxation -
rules (someone else must do it, not too hard, etc.), play, strategy, emotional rewards:
everything a game needs. But
this game called massage means more.
The overt goal of a massage is a profound
sense of relaxation, but the actual goal is a profound state of touch - this is the game.
The most basic emotional need in mammals is the genetically induced goal of touch.
Babies of all kinds need it as much as food. As adults we still need it, but we have
more options regarding how we can obtain it.
Unlike sex, which can be self administered,
touch massage is achieved only though another life form's game of giving touch. If we
believe the contact on our skin is part of someone's game of touching 'me' then we
will have neurotransmitters like oxytocin and
dopamine released which feeds a matching 'mouth', so to
speak, inside our brain.
With this self-regulating game cycle we feed ourselves,
if others help us. But
this only works provided there are these three conditions. First, we must believe
a seperate game player, like a pet or spouse, is on the other side of that contact.
Secondly, the touch must, like another game called dance, have an artistic quality that
is
beyond rationality or description. Finally, it must be touch made by an approved game
player, or it will not be played. Massage is still touch just more ritualized, like
ballroom dancing.
There is a great need for more touch in the world, but there are a lot more
inhibitions than advocates. The game of massage will always be a good excuse to touch
someone, as will dance, but for those hung up on other kinds of games, like
monasticism, or fridgedism, there are few other options to hope for.
GRH
