The square sail of the pirates' ship is pierced by the Danish jib boom as the two ships are pulled into a collision by the Danish grappling hooks. As Hamlet boards the pirate's vessel, the pirates cut the Danish grapples and separate the two ships, leaving Hamlet stranded from his own vessel and from its cargo, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. During separation, the entangled jib boom pulls down the course sail onto Hamlet, pressing his body and his rapier against the deck.

Hamlet calls out from under the canvas, "I am freed. But who liberates my prison? Speak to me and take your credit, so when this shroud turns red I may commend you to this world's logician."

Incomprehensible replies issue around Hamlet's white form. The pirates are Spanish and Portuguese and use their own secret tongue amongst themselves. None speak Danish, and Hamlet cannot understand anything they say.

"Nevermind. The clockwork of His mind will fall upon my saviors in due time. Now, I wait upon your honour to fulfill the violent promise which I spied before my grapples were put into you."

Four pirates lead the ship and have looks reminiscent of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. They, however, serve a different purpose. Together these captains cut open the sail to bring Hamlet onto his feet again.

"This is a second birth for which I did not ask." says Hamlet, "Tell me, in whose company am I?"

Hamlet slips out of the cut sail, rapier in hand. "Am I to assume from your curled speech that we must both vainly mouth our purposes? Well,  for my purpose this language could not be more apt."

Hamlet clicks his tongue, raises his sword and thrusts vainly between two of the Captains. The two captains ignore the thrust and signal for more of their comrades to stand behind Hamlet.

"Am I not still game? Am I not holding only a yew switch to your corporal battering ram? Here, perhaps mine is the more wieldy for you. Take it. No? I find your airs quite transparent, indeed invisible. Here, I'll remonstrate. What I mean is demonstrate. But why compound this overstuffed haggis with correction when I mean to spill it to whence it came?"

Hamlet turns the rapier towards himself but the hilt is grasped by one of the captains and the sword is taken from him. He is brought below deck and locked in irons.

Hamlet is left alone in a powder room, "My freedom rings like a clapped ear. Oh Mother remember? as when I spoilt my supper at the cooks elbow, how my freedom rings. But it is because of you Father that it rings. . . I have failed you. My contriving, my honour, my vengeance, all done for your eyes, your love . . . I have failed you. The fools are slain and their gathered blood no more sates this sea's lust for mischief, than a sea could sate my lust for vengeance. But still the lure of my own sleep overpowers it. Oh father, this uncle who still dully caps a pyramid of shame now seems immovable. Polonius, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are as pebbles upon the sand that I might or might not kick aside. Where is a compass for this kind world?

"Father are you listening?" Hamlet stands in the dark in his irons and listens for anyone who could be close enough to overhear him.

"Father? You there?" Hamlet listens again, "How bout outside, anyone outside there listening? Anyone at all?" Hamlet sounds intrigued."If no one is listening, and I mean no one, one or two students also fall into that category, does that mean . . . yes it does! I can finally babble . . . bbbbblahhh bivggggg jujuee hhhhhyyyyyppppp! Such a relief! No more performance anxiety. dooooyyyyyyup miiiiiichhh kkkkaaasssssssssssg. hill but fight kip aimly samely. Walk the plank ye mateys! Now this is freedom!"

Hamlet does a jig in the dark and bumps his head on the timbers of the deck above him. "I can be stupid, peaceful, happy, decisive, anachronistic and boring - and all just for the sake of change."

Hamlet stops moving and talking for a minute. "But what do I do now? Pops are you sure your not there? Sure? Wow. Talking to myself has always been my thing, but I've never really been alone before. Now I'm really doing it. No more pretense at isolation. No longer is anyone listening to me! I'm flabby gasted. I'm floured. I'm sheiked. I'm knocked up. What's to become of be Hamlets opens his eyes as widely as his fingers can pull. "Have I ceased to be be.  And when a real character like me loses his audience is this where he go-goes? Di-di-di-di-did I do this to my self, or is there a deeper purpose at work. Purpose, purposes purpose. That's more like it. That's my kind of word. I know, I'll just be me. Maybe I can just forgot to be be and I can me me!

 "Okay, I'll try. . . our purpose  . . .no. . . our purposes spin as when the garrote practitioner slips, first there is rush the blood to our heads, but all too speedily does our genius get lost in other thoughts." Hamlet smiles satisfactorily to himself. "I think that's the ticket. I just have to be true to myself and purpose will follow. Of course I, as a person, live for vengeance, depression and suicide. But as long as I really believe in it, I can't see why I can't live a long and fruitful life. Such an existence is something after all. Okay, golly, I think I'll do it." Hamlet takes a deep breath and begins being himself, "Oh shucks, I can't do it. I'm embarrassed. It's so silly pretending to be me. Shouldn't it come naturally or something?" he looks around. "All right get serious Hamlet this is no out-take. Okay - okay - okay. "To be, or to be Rosencrantz and Guildenstern that is the question. I wonder if they got home safely? I was told they spent a lot of time fussing about death. I'm sorry I didn't spend more time with them now that I think of it. Of course, I'm as good as dead to them now," he tilted his head, " - now that they're dead."There is a long pause while Hamlet listens to the walls, he is attempting to discover if there is anyone outside the powder room.

"Hello there? Anyone there?

" All right, I guess I really have to go on without an audience.

"Must you?

"If I want to go on at all.

"How soon you betray your friends

"I have never betrayed a soul!

"Not your father? You ran reckless onto this very ship, risking your life before  your time had come, before you had carried out your solemn promise to eke revenge on your father's enemies. Then you purposely sought death by your own hand.

"Hey, where are driving at with this line of reasoning? I detect a contradiction. You first imply I should seek death, then you whip me for seeking it.

"There is nothing either black or white but that which thinking makes so. Your talking to yourself Hamlet! If there was a true contradiction somewhere in your head one or the other would fly out.

"I've nothing further to say to you.

 "Yet you will say more.

 "No, I won't.

 "Yes, you will.

 "No, I won't - look -  does everybody go through this.

 "What?

 "This expedition into oblivion?

 "If they don't have some kind of foil to play against.

 "What, like you?

 "Exactly. We run hither and thither, further than far, until we hit a wall, or bump our heads on the ceiling, or run into a foil, as the case may be.

 "So because I'm having a conversation with you I'm not really heading into oblivion. In other words, because I have found my foil within, my foibles folly is falling fastidiously faster than freak factors flickering fondly forward in my frontal lobes.

 "On the contrary, your delusions dick and dither deftly downward like deciduous decay descending doltishly into dung.

 "Well that clears things up.

 "But where do you go from here?

 "Aren't you coming with me?

 "You sure you want me to?

 "I'd rather have a companion for my delusions then a plot and a spade.

 "How quaint.

 "What's that suppose to mean?

 "Nothing.

 "I mean it. What that suppose to mean?

 "All right, let's just say it meant . . . ah?. . . I hate your guts.

 "How can you say that?

 "It's as easy as saying, 'I'm more popular then Jesus.'You're better than Jesus!? I can't believe I once liked you.

 "Lets get back to the issue at hand.

 "No I want to talk about this Jesus stuff. You think you're Jesus or something?

 "Maybe, I can be dam good at times and I have nothing but good news to tell. The headline for today reads. 'Hamlet spins out of his star when audience disappears'.

"That's not good news.

 "That depends on your point of view.

 "Oh I get it. Your point of view, my point of view is the same. Yes, funny, ha-ha. When are you going to scare up an audience so I can be something again!? I'm at my wits end. I don't know what's to become of me. I want to run around like a chicken, but I'm already chaffing my ankle with these irons!

 "What another fine mess were in."

 Hamlet listens again for anyone who could be nearby

"I think someone is coming. Yes I'm sure of it.

 "Don't get your hopes up. They don't even speak your language. What kind of audience can you expect?

 "Oh shut up. This is my moment." Hamlet fingers his hair to groom it, then he checks his breath with a cupped hand and spits out the dry saliva built up from his dialogue with himself.

 "How dost thou, person or persons without? I willingly offer my spacious lodgings  to you all. It is private, clear as the night and has an infinite view of it surroundings. Let us deal a while and, as certainty is contained only in the lie, let us find exchange in the perfection of our company."

Outside Hamlet's quarters the four captains talk on the fate of their captive. They decide to inspect him in the light of the new morning, which has just arrived over the horizon.

Hamlet responds to the cell door opening by saying, "Welcome dear sirs. It is indeed fortunate that I was not at my Elsinore lodgings as you entered for I would be as naked as the lamb."

The captains grow attentive at Hamlet's use of the name Elsinore. Hamlet remarks, "Elsinore, yes, it is a Valhalla for mortals. It is, I would guess, rather like Valhalla's undercarriage, with strong cakes of mud clinging, in such way that this mud can claim ascendancy over the rest by right of being flung from the wheels.

"Elsinore is where I claim my own right of kingship, thus I do secretly. For if I am rightly put ashore to finish my task I should most speedily offer your ship and crew a reward fitting exaggeration. This hope let mime now be my tongue."

 Hamlet mimes a story of his princely status and kingly ambition for the state of Denmark. He offers imagined gold from his pocket to the captains, and he sweeps his arm in benediction over the heads of them all. The mime show has the desired effect, the captains remove his irons and change course for Denmark.

As Hamlet settles in the luxurious chamber of the captains and begins to compose his letters to Horatio and his Uncle, he looks through the stern portals of the ship as it rocks and tips. He then confidently speaks to the sea, "There is neither up or down on this sea: neither right nor left, colour in variety, nor is there an end to it all . . . in another sense whence did I begin? No matter. My vengeance is sharp, my wit is returned and all hell is bent on my Uncle. There be fitness to my purpose, as there is fitness to this craft and leadership, and ere long the disease of my soul shall be purged by my own doctoring.

 "The matter of the ducats which these captains shall receive: they will weigh on my conscience till the issue be settled. Therefore I do swear to my true soul that the matter do find itself of highest priority on my arrival. To Great Neptune I do swear this."

On deck the four captains gather near the starboard cannon and pause to reflect on there own role in Hamlet's passage. It is not long before they each take out of their purses the mime gold which Hamlet had given. Without examining it, each holds it out over the sea and drops it.

 The End